TRUST...that scary 5 letter word!

     How many of us are in a relationship? Wait...let me rephrase that question...How many of us are in a committed, loyal and faithful relationship? I bet all of us would like to raise our own hand without a doubt, huh? Too bad some people can't. You know why? I've noticed a lot of women don't feel secure and confident in their relationships with their men. These insecurities will effect your connection with that other human being immensely! Too many of my friends have stated they had to go through their man's phone to see who he called and texted that day. They check his emails. They go through his pockets. They grill him about where he's going...where he went...who he was with...who he's meeting up with...how much gas he used to get there...is that where you really went? Why do you look so happy? Did another girl make you smile? Did you smile back? You took her out for drinks, huh? Is that why you took money out the bank? Are you trynna hide your evidence? Who is she? Let me smell your dick! (Baby Boy fans know about that line.)

     My point is...ladies stress themselves out too much about trusting their men. This is NOT what a relationship should be about. You should not have to always be on your defense when it comes to protecting what you and him have built and what you could possibly establish in the future. There is no way you will have the chance to grow in this partnership if you don't TRUST him. We don't give men enough credit a lot of the time. They aren't all scum. There are a lot of men who want to be in trusting relationships and who only have eyes for that one woman. But it will NOT be the woman who is constantly nagging him and calling him a liar or a cheater. Those are the type of women who men try to avoid when it comes to getting serious. Trust me, I know this stuff. Not because I am one of those women...but because I used to be one of those women.

     I'm sure many of us have been there and done that. I found myself spending more time wondering what schemes this man could be pulling off when I'm not around and not enough time actually learning about him and loving him. I had my guard up because I had been burned in the past. It's common...it happens to all of us and it's a learning process. Dating won't always be fun and enjoyable. There will be times where we wished we never met this person and gave them the time of day. But that is the only way we discover what type of person we like and what type of person we want to stay away from. I'm not saying you will never be cheated on or lied to. But I AM telling you to let your guard down. You might surprise yourself at how much more relaxed and enjoyable spending time with that special person will be. Stop letting your mind wander about what he did last night when he was out with his boys. If he got another girls number...or whatever. If a man wants to cheat on you...he's going to do it no matter how often you do or do not check his phone. You may catch him sooner by being all up in his stuff but how irritating to spend time being a detective 24 hours a day and not just going with the flow.

     Trust that he's in it for the right reasons. Of course, if you have the gut feeling that something isn't right...then a little questioning may be necessary. But honestly, if I was a man and my girl was always suspicious that I was cheating even though I wasn't---I have no reason not to now. Might as well commit the crime I've already been sentenced for...

-J


"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." - Ernest Hemingway